Give me back my control!!!

Ive just realised why i get so pissed off with life. Its becase im not controlling it. Even when you have a plan of action, no, actually, especially when you have a plan of action, things seem to happen to ruin it, dont they? It feels as though everyone else is running my life. And its really starting to piss me off!
My weight thing isnt really working yet. I suppose one reason is that it has only been a few days, but also because I swear, my days are shorter than the average persons. On Tuesday, I had an early start because of my eye appointment. I have actually managed to scam another free trial, this time for three weeks, so thats fine by me! You gotta try aint ya? Anywayz, as i knew i wouldnt get lunch for a while, I forcefed myself my cranberry wheats. I dont do breakfast first thing, so actually i just felt sick. I knew i couldnt throw up though, coz that was against the whole point. I met Matt and the kids in town, and as it turns out we went for an early lunch at good old maccy d's. Is it only me that thinks they serve too much in the kids meals?! i feel so stodged after one! The afternoon was pretty tough, at his ex's house. Its a very strange feeling between us now. I have to admit, i was quietly pleased that baby didnt want Matt. Its not easy watching your fella nursing his ex's other child! But i shant go into that :) The evening went great though. Caught up with an old friend, Lucy and her fella Ryan. Such a lovely couple! Ive so badly missed her! We munched on chinese. scrum. Ryan was driving so we couldnt really open a bottle, but i attempted to use our spangly new champagne flute set anyway, only with pepsi. I was the only one that used it really. Everyone else complained as only a mouthful fits in it. Then i just stole Matts glass. It was a bit easier :) I thought with all that, my weight would have piled on, but actually Id gone back to 6st 0lb 8. Neg. On the job side of things, I did get a call from somewhere looking for stocktakers. I go to see them on Monday. So fingers crossed there. Yesterday, was a shit day for eating. Matt and I were kinda busy all day pretty much. We went to meet Nicki at work , very nice little cafe (although dodgy guy who runs it!) then picked up Lee who had a fun day at the dentist! lol. The boys had a a best man speech to prepare. Us girls did try to put some input, but not sure much was listened to! We discussed the kickboxing again. I think the boys may wel be wanting to do it too now. So Nicki is investigating that, ready for when i have pennies! (or at least for when the fella had pennies hehe) I really wanna kick Matts butt! Small but deadly. hopefully! I had a burger King, before we went down the seafront for a bit. A joyous occasion of watching everyone shoot stuff *yawn*. But then it was to Claires for Heroes. How great is that series? So in all, no time to squeeze in food. So grand total was....yup...the same 6st 0lb 8. Todays even worse. two slices of toast and a bowl of macaroni. Ive lost weight. All be it not much but today i weigh 6st 0lb 4. I feel disgusted with it. In fact what i havent mentioned is that Ive applied for a TV show, looking for people who are skinny like me. So maybe something will come of that. Jobwise, today was the day i signed on. Although i have no idea when ill get any money. There were a couple of jobs though. Child support worker, i called for. And i have a couple of numbers for tomorrow.